Rain Fall Down
by sparkygirl82
Summary: Set after "The Ride In." Stella gets some help from a good friend. Mac/Stella with Stella/Flack friendship. This is following 3x17 and on, each chapter deals with another epidsode. Now affectionately known as "the angsting/unangsting of Mac and Stella."
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I don't own them, much more talented people do. I'm just borrowing them! And yes, we all know reviews = love!

Stella tightened the scarf around her neck as she made her way down the sidewalk. The sun was just beginning to set and the night chill mixed with the rain that had refused to stop since the early afternoon. Hard to think that less than 24 hours prior she had been on the roof of the lab, safely wrapped in Mac's arms as he tried to reassure her that no matter what, he was there for her. Whatever the outcome of her test, he would be there. At the time his reassurance had warmed her to the core, but now it just left a dull ache in her heart. She knew realistically why she hadn't come to him sooner, why she knew that as much as he liked to believe it was true, he wouldn't always be there for her. The reason was Peyton.

When Stella had first found out that the two were dating, she wanted to hate the woman. She wanted to hate Peyton for coming between her and Mac, hate her for meaning something to him that Stella could only wish for. She wanted to hate her for being the one that Mac loved, the one that he adored. But she knew deep down she couldn't. Seeing him happy meant more to her than anything else in the world, and Peyton made him happy. She had managed to break down the remaining barrier he had set up around his heart. And really, the fiery ME was far too likeable for her own good. So instead Stella did what she did best; she put on her best smile and pretended that everything was right with the world. As she reached the empty park though, she knew deep down that nothing was really right anymore. She lifted her head as she let the rain wash over her, hoping the icy chill would help numb the ache in her heart.

"You know you're going to catch a cold if you're out here in this weather for too long."

Her head whipped around as she heard the familiar voice from behind her. A smile pulled at the corner of her mouth as her eyes locked with a familiar shade of bright blue ones. "Don, what on earth are you doing out here?"

"If this keeps up I'll be doing the backstroke. I knew we shouldn't have locked that ark up in evidence, might need it." They both laughed as he moved to stand closer to her, helping to protect her from the rain with the umbrella he was carrying. Without a word they both started to walk, making their way through the empty park as he wrapped his arm around her, sharing his warmth with her.

"You know there's no evidence to support the idea that being out in the rain can cause you to catch a cold. It's an old wives' tale."

"Maybe you're right but I swear every time my ma yelled at me for playing out in the rain, sure enough, couple days later I was sick. So what's goin' on Stell? What are you doing out here?"

"Just doing some thinking. Been doing that a lot lately."

"How much longer until you find out the results of the test?"

"Still have a few weeks."

He stopped walking for a moment, turning to look at her. "That's not the reason though is it, why you're out walking in weather like this." He took in her defeated expression, noticing for the first time how small she seemed. "Mac," they both knew it wasn't a question.

"I love him," she whispered, scared to voice the feelings she had kept locked away for so long.

"I know," Don replied. If it weren't for the seriousness of the situation, he would've laughed at the shocked look on her face at his response. "C'mon Stell, I've been working with you and Mac for how many years now? I can see it every time you look at him when he's not looking. It's the same look he gives you when you're not paying attention."

Stella shook her head no, "Peyton…"

"Just because people are together doesn't mean they're really happy. And," he said, making sure she was looking at him, "It doesn't mean that they're not in love with someone else."

"So what do I do?"

"That is up to you entirely Stell. It's your life, your future. Just know that I'm here for you no matter what."

They started walking again, and Don could see the wheels turning in her head, thinking over his words. Before long they reached her apartment building. He could see how deep in thought she had been when he saw the surprise on her face at their location.

"Thank you Don, for everything," she said as she hugged him tightly. "You're a really good friend."

He smiled at her as he kissed her on the cheek. "Anytime Stell, anytime at all." He watched as she made her way inside the building, waiting until the light in her apartment came on, signaling she was safe inside. Sighing to himself Don pulled out his phone dialing the familiar number. "Hey babe, I'm on my way home. Yeah, talked to Stella. You know how they are Ava, completely in tune with the other, but oblivious when it comes to their feelings toward each other. Yeah, hopefully. We'll have to see how things work out. See you in a few. Love you." And with that Don turned and headed home, hoping his friends would find the happiness they both deserved.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: So I was originally just going to make a one-shot out of this story, but then people started asking for more, and watching the episodes again I realized what great angst there was to explore…so yeah, going to try and continue through the episodes and see what I can find. Hopefully this won't be a terrible waste of your time! I don't own them, nor do I make any money off them. Much more talented people are responsible for these great characters.

Oh, and feedback = love! Spoilers for 3-18 "Sleight Out of Hand."

Stella held up the bloodied saw, looking at it in disgust. "Clearly this trick didn't work." She glanced over at Mac, waiting for some sort of reaction from him. She was disappointed when once again he was absorbed in nothing but the case at hand. He had been like that lately, more so since she had told him about the possibility of being infected with HIV. Mac was nothing if not intense when it came to his job and working to bring justice to those that broke the law, but Stella knew it was something more. Lately he had been on a whole other level of intensity. He was letting his work consume him. It was his defense mechanism; something he did when there were emotions battling inside him that he didn't know how to deal with. Rather than try to analyze them and sort them out, he tried to push them aside, working himself into the ground.

She sighed to herself as Mac directed her away from the crime scene to take the body back. That was another thing he had been doing quite often, separating them. He was her partner but it seemed as if they hardly worked a scene together for very long before he was either leaving to check on a lead with Don or sending her to take care of something. As she walked out the door, following the ME techs to the vehicle, she caught Don's eye as she shook her head. She wasn't the only one who had noticed the distance between the two first-grade detectives. Flack had asked her about it as well, but she had just shrugged, not sure how to voice her suspicions.

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Later that evening Stella was sitting at her desk, again attempting to look up more information on HIV without being interrupted. As she scrolled down the computer screen her mind began to wander. Absent-mindedly she twirled the small flower Mac had given to her in her free hand. It wasn't a fake silk rose. It was the real deal. Where he got it from she hadn't a clue and since he wasn't going to spill his secret anytime soon she could only wonder. At the time she had wanted to wring his neck at his apparent lack of focus on what she was explaining regarding the case, but then when he turned to her, handing her the rose, there was something about the look in his eye, the warmth from his gaze that got to her and immediately all was forgiven. That connection that she had felt slipping away was back full force. Her conversation with Flack replayed over and over in her mind.

"_It doesn't mean that they're not in love with someone else," Flack replied_

"_So what do I do?"_

"_That is up to you entirely Stell. It's your life, your future."_

As she looked back at the computer screen and read the information on the screen she began to wonder just how much of a future she really had.

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It wasn't often that Stella found herself identifying with a criminal, but there was the occasional case that caused her to stop and wonder what she would have done if she had been put into a similar situation. Stella hoped that she would be the same person she is now, but what if the circumstances had been the same, would she react any differently? Luke Blade couldn't help the damage that had been done to him before he was even born. Given proper treatment he might have been able to grow up a normal life instead of where he was at now. But as Stella knew all too well, growing up in the system one didn't always have the luxury of being cared for, especially if there was already a problem to begin with.

"He bounced around the system for the next 15 years. In and out of institutions and foster homes, and most definitely harboring feelings of abandonment by his family." It was the fear of abandonment by Mac, her rock, that scared Stella the most. She loved him, no doubt about it. But really, if they never progressed past that stage in their relationship, she would be fine as long as he was in her life. But lately that foundation had grown weaker, and as she spoke about Luke, about how they both felt, she prayed that Mac would realize what was going on.

"Luke referred to his crew as his family. He's targeting those who betrayed him and violated his sacred trust."

Stella had hoped to catch Mac's eye, try to convey to him that she was struggling with the same feeling, but he was so caught up in his thought process that he once again missed it. Just as she was about to say something, Don burst in with news about the stolen truck. He caught Stella's forlorn look and gave her an apologetic look as they headed out to the vehicles.

The rest of the case passed in a blur as they reached the warehouse in the nick of time with Mac shooting the glass to save Luke's adopted mother. She watched on as Flack cuffed him while Mac comforted the shaken woman. He caught her eye for a moment, giving Stella a triumphant look, knowing another person had been saved by a monster, but all she could do was fake a smile and turn to walk away while her heart broke a little bit more.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Still don't own them. This is the continuation of the "angsting/unangsting" of Mac and Stella as Lisa put it. Obvious spoilers for 3x19 "A Daze of Wine and Roaches." Let me know what you think. Reviews = happiness, and I'll try to respond to each one I get!

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Mac glanced at the woman seated beside him in the Avalanche. She had been more subdued around him lately, more reserved and he didn't like it. It was her bubbly nature that made him feel alive. It was her enthusiasm for life that drove him on. He wondered briefly if it had something to do with his relationship with Peyton, but quickly shook his head to dispel the thought. There was no chance that someone like Stella would ever be interested in him like that. They were friends, best friends. No it had to be her nerves and waiting for the test results to come back to know if she had contracted the virus. Mac felt a wave of guilt wash over him. He'd been so wrapped up in his relationship with Peyton that he hadn't been checking on Stella like he had wanted to. Oh she had been putting on a brave front around those that knew of her situation, but she had told him herself that she was struggling with gravity of the situation. As he pulled up to the sidewalk in front of the UN building, he opened his mouth to say something, but Stella was out the door of the truck before he could even think of a word to say. He sighed as he watched her walk towards Don. Mac watched as a small smile tugged at the younger detective's face. He saw him say something to Stella before Don raised his eyes, meeting Mac's gaze as the smile fell from his face before turning around and following her inside.

Confused, Mac shook his head to try and clear his mind of everything but the scene to process. There would be time later to try and sort out the other issues clearly at hand. Grabbing his kit from the backseat, he made his way into the building.

Stella took a deep breath to calm her racing heartbeat as she started processing the scene. She knew Mac had been about to say something to her, and her frazzled nerves weren't ready to deal with him yet. He had been stealing glances at her on the drive over but she just stared out the window, pretending not to notice. Things between them had definitely become more strained. Stella was immensely grateful for Don and Ava and their support through everything. He had become her rock, giving her the strength to get through the day; which is why she jumped at the chance to leave the scene with him. She felt the tension in the atmosphere, and was happy to escape it.

"You doing ok?" Flack asked as they headed out of the building back to his car.

Stella looked over at him, slightly shrugging her shoulders in response. Truthfully she didn't really know how she was feeling and how to put it into words. For now she would focus on the case and worry about everything else later.

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Stella stormed into the locker room, hitting her hand against an open door, slamming it shut with a satisfying bang. Still furious at Mac, she paced back and forth in front of the door to the showers, trying to decide if she had time to cool off under the cold water. He was just so frustrating! Any time she would go to him with a theory in the past he would always tell her the same thing; '_Find the scientific proof to back it up, then you can run with the idea,_' but as soon as she found that proof, he still dismissed her. It was like he didn't trust her anymore. She sank down onto the bench, letting her head drop into her hands as she wiped a lone tear that had escaped her clutches. Maybe trying to prove her theory by analyzing tears didn't provide the most compelling case, but the way he had dismissed her hurt.

Taking a deep breath Stella stood and walked over to the sink, splashing the cool water on her face. Feeling slightly more in control, she headed out of the locker room back towards the lab. If concrete evidence was what would satisfy Mac, then that's what she was going to find, no matter how long it took her.

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Stella shook her head, trying to dispel the image of Luther as he was escorted out of the interrogation room in handcuffs. Soon he would be in booking and would await trial for the murder of Simone DeLille. Her suspicions about Evie had been validated when Luther started telling them to look at her. She had manipulated everyone around her, letting them do all the dirty work while she remained safe in the shadows.

Normally after a case like this Stella and Mac would end up at one of their apartments, or maybe a small diner and just decompress. He would sit there; listening patiently while Stella vented her frustrations about the case, a lack of evidence, or whatever it may have been that went wrong with the case. She in turn would buy him Irish coffee. It was what they did; they took care of each other, especially after the hard cases. But as Stella turned the corner, headed for Mac's office, she stopped in her tracks. Peyton was in there, his hand in hers as they headed out of the office. Mac looked up, his eyes connecting with Stella's, an almost guilty look flashed in his eyes at her look of surprise.

"Stella," Peyton said cheerily, "Mac and I were just headed out to grab a bite to eat over at Sullivan's, would you care to join us?"

Stella looked between the two, the eager expression on Peyton's face and the sheepish look on Mac's face. She felt her heart fracture a little more as she pasted on a smile. She couldn't imagine anything more awkward than dinner with the man she loved, and his girlfriend. "I'd love to but I was just heading home. Just wanted to drop these files off on your desk," she finished turning to Mac. They locked eyes again and for a moment Stella feared he could see past her fake smile, that he knew her heart was being ripped apart. She watched as he narrowed his eyes for a moment, not quite buying her overly cheerful demeanor. Stella could see his mind computing all the incoming data, but the process was interrupted when Peyton spoke up, oblivious to the tension between the two detectives.

"Well if you're sure then. We should probably get going Mac, it's already getting late. Have a great night Stella," she called out as she led him toward the elevator. Stella watched the couple get into the elevator, Peyton leaning her head on Mac's shoulder, his eyes rising back to Stella. As the doors shut, Stella felt her heart crumble. Steeling herself to stay strong until she reached the safety of her home, she quickly dropped the files onto Mac's desk and hurried to make her own escape.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Again, don't own them. Based on the episode "What Schemes May Come" 3x20

Thank you so much for all the great reviews. I try to respond to them as often as I can, but with two jobs and getting ready to head into the Air Force Reserves, I know I don't do it as much as I should. But I read each one of them and greatly appreciate them! Feedback/ critiques are always welcome!

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Stella sat in her darkened office. She twirled a pen in her right hand as her mind ran over the events from the past days' events. Isabella's words kept running through her mind, how she had lived life more with Derek, Bobby and Jenny than anyone else. Four young people who knew that their life was going to be cut short. Four people who knew the importance of living every day to the fullest because the next one was not guaranteed. Her train of thought brought her around to another person who knew all to well how quickly a life could be lost; Mac. She could see the light still emanating from Mac's office.

Earlier she had overheard Danny telling Don about the case that he and Mac had been working on. She heard him mention how when Mac heard that Peyton was attacked he uncharacteristically ran through the lab, pushing people out of his way as he made his way out to the back bay of the lab. She could picture him, the worry on his face as he raced to her. Stella closed her eyes at the memories that flooded through her from the night she had been attacked by Frankie. She remembered waking up, feeling Mac's hands on her face; his strong fingers brushing across her cheek, gently trying to wake her up. She distinctly remembered when she opened her eyes, seeing the worry and fear in his. There had been something else in his gaze, relief mixed with something that she had been in no frame of mind to even attempt to analyze.

But now? Was she ready to start questioning those looks? Stella thought back to what Don had told her, about him noticing the way Mac looked at her. Could he really still feel the same way about her? But then there was his relationship with Peyton, the way he reacted when he heard she had been attacked. But was that relationship any different than the ones she had started with other men to try and make herself get over Mac?

Stella let out another long sigh as she started her computer back up, going over the information on the website. So many choices to make; choices that could affect the rest of her life, how ever long that may be. The real question though, would she be ready to deal with the consequences of those choices? _Baby steps Stell, baby steps, _she reminded herself. Taking one last look at the computer screen she made up her mind; first, she would ask Mac to authorize the purchase of the PCR kit needed to do the DNA test. After that, well no matter what the results, she was ready.

Heading out of her office, she made her way towards the beacon of light in the otherwise darkened lab. Honestly she was surprised to see him still here. After the day's events she had figured he would be at home with Peyton, not sitting at his desk, his mind obviously far away from the reports and files on his desk. Stella knocked on the door and smiled as he looked up, his eyes locking with hers. She felt her face grow warm as he offered her that slight grin of his. Again, there was something in his eyes that she couldn't quite read, and it intrigued and scared her all at once.

As she explained about her case that day she watched his reaction, saw his calculating gaze. When she mentioned the PCR kit and having Adam run the test, she couldn't help but smile at his mention Adam graduating top of his class. As tough as Mac tried to be around the rest of the team, he really was a great leader and father figure to the group. It was these little moments when she saw how much he really cared about everyone who worked for him.

When Mac agreed to buy the kit Stella was amazed at how little persuasion it took him to say ok. Granted, having a PCR kit could definitely be useful in the lab, but it wasn't a top priority and given the tenuous state of the lab's budget, she thought for sure there would have been a little more hesitation on his part. Deciding to let her heart guide her, she moved to lean over Mac, bringing her hand up to rest on his check while she placed a chaste kiss on the other one. When he raised his hand to rest against hers she smiled to herself for a moment before pulling back to head out for the night.

He caught her off guard when he spoke again, asking if she was ready for the results. She turned and looked at him. Stella couldn't help but wonder if there was something deeper to his question. As she responded to him she tried to convey the sincerity of her words. She no longer felt afraid. She felt ready to let someone in again. She smiled briefly at him before heading out of his office. After a few steps she turned around to take a look at him. He had turned so he was facing the large window looking out to the city, but she could see the small smile and pensive look on his face. _Maybe…_


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Again, don't own them. Based on the episode "Past Imperfect" 3x21.

Sorry for how long since I've posted. Life seems to have sped up even more. A little over 3 months til I leave for training with the Air Force, working two jobs plus everything else seems to have gotten in the way. But hopefully this will be worth the wait. Thank you all again for the lovely reviews. I will always try to respond to all of them, but if for some reason I missed yours please accept my apology.

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Stella nervously paced back and forth in her office. She paused, glancing up at the clock on the wall again and realized she still had another fifteen minutes before Adam would have the results of her test. Fifteen minutes until she would know if she even had a future to look forward to, let alone who she might spend it with. Worrying her hands, she continued her pacing. Sitting around, doing nothing, never sat well with her. Stella preferred to stay active, especially when something was causing her stress. Unfortunately, all the trace that they'd pulled from the case involving the girl who'd been so brutally murdered had already been processed and were now just waiting for the results from the machines.

Stella was pulled out of her thoughts as she heard her phone beep, signaling a text message had been received. She stopped her motion as she looked down, reading the quick line. It was from Mac.

_You're going to wear a hole in your floor_.

She looked up, surprise on her face when she realized he was standing in her doorway. He was leaning against the frame, an amused smirk on his face. Then she remembered the way he had jumped all over Adam earlier.

"You going to jump down my throat next for not hovering over the machines while they process the trace?"

She watched as the smirk faded from his face, his jaw clenching. He had the good graces to look embarrassed at his reaction earlier. When he spoke, his voice was rough; "I'll say something to him later."

"Mac, Adam was helping me out, taking the blood sample so he can run the DNA test. I'm just waiting for him to finish to find out the results."

Mac nodded his head in understanding, dropping his eyes down to the floor for a moment before bringing his gaze back up to lock with Stella's. His had changed from their normal blue to a stormy grayish-blue, reflecting the turmoil within. He opened his mouth to say something but then quickly closed it. She could tell he was struggling with saying what he was thinking. Looking around, he wiped his hand down his face before reconnecting their eyes, the intensity of his gaze leaving her breathless. He stepped closer as he took her hand in his, trying to give her whatever strength he could. He saw through the brave front she was trying to portray.

When he finally spoke, his voice was thick with emotion. "You let me know the moment you find out the results, whatever they may be. You hear me?" He squeezed her hand as if to emphasize his meaning.

Unable to speak past the lump in her throat Stella just nodded and watched as he headed back out toward his office; but not before looking back to give her a tight smile.

***

Stella walked out of the DNA lab in a daze. Adam's words kept going through her head. _HIV negative…negative._ She was serious when she told him, that she could dream again. It may have seemed cliché but the world did seem brighter, everything seemed sharper, more vibrant. She walked past the break room and smelled the scent of brewing coffee. She inhaled a deep breath and sighed in contentment.

"You know you actually have to ingest the coffee before you'll feel the effects of the caffeine."

Stella whirled around and couldn't help the grin on her face when she saw Don standing behind her, his blue eyes shining bright with amusement.

"With the way I feel right now, I think I could last for a week without needing any caffeine to keep me energized. I found out the results. I'm negative Don!"

His face stretched in one of the biggest smiles she had ever seen on his face, especially as of late with the whole fiasco of Clay Dobson weighing on his mind. He grabbed her and pulled her into a strong hug. Stella sighed as she felt the safety of her friend's arms around her. After a moment, they pulled apart.

"Have you told Mac yet?"

Stella shook her head. "I was just on my way to find him but he's not in his office. Have you seen him?"

"I think he was headed up to the roof. He seemed really on edge, with everything going on."

She nodded in understanding. It had become a sort of habit for them, when things got overwhelming, standing on the roof, looking out over the city, helped quiet the mind. Even amongst all the chaos of the city, there was a sense of peace. Squeezing Don's arm once more, she made her way to the elevator.

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As Stella opened the door to the roof, a feeling déjà vu hit her as the cool night breeze whispered through her hair. She could see Mac near the ledge, seemingly lost in his thoughts as he stared out at the lights of surrounding buildings. Stella could see the Statue of Liberty off in the distance, standing tall and proud as a reminder for all who saw her that anything was possible.

As the door softly clicked shut behind her, Mac turned around to look at her. She could see the mixture of emotions that were going through his mind. Anger and frustration from the loss of another innocent victim at a killer's hand; the guilt that his decision had freed a sociopath, allowing him to go free on a technicality. But above it all, she could see a different type of fear and worry, not one born of duty or obligation, but one born of need and, dare she think it, love.

She watched as Mac tried to read her eyes, to see what the outcome would be. She saw him take a deep breath, seeming to hold it as he took in her neutral mask. Not wanting to keep him wondering any longer, a small smile pulled at the corner of her mouth as they closed the distance between each other. "I'm free Mac," was all she was able to get out before she was enveloped in a crushing hug. Minutes or hours passed, she wasn't sure which as he held her in his arms. She felt a shaky breath leave him as he continued to hold her, the only indication how deeply he had been affected by her ordeal.

As much as she would have loved to stay in his embrace forever, it was late and they needed to attempt to try and rest a bit while the machines processed the evidence from their case. Plus Peyton was probably waiting for him. She knew he wouldn't rest until the person responsible for the murders was brought to justice, but maybe with one less worry on his mind he might get a little respite. Reluctantly Stella pulled back, though Mac kept her at an arms length. She couldn't help but notice how his eyes seemed a little bit brighter, his shoulders looked as if they held just a little less weight. Stella smiled as she brought her hand up to Mac's cheek, rubbing the light stubble she felt there. Leaning in she placed a chaste kiss to his other cheek while he lifted his hand to cover her smaller one.

"Good night Mac," she said softly as she pulled out of his embrace and turned toward the door. She turned back to look at him, giving him one more small smile before slipping through the door, listening as it shut behind her.


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